Batt Man

I do remember instituting a "Batt Detail" our sergebutt year (probably died right after we left):

The Batt was supposed to be dropped off each day in bailed bundles, by truck, outside each dorm. You'd typically find a busted-open bail of Batts on the first-stoop and grab one on your way into the dorm late in the afternoon. Oftentimes, though (and, seemingly, it was worse our sergebutt year), they wouldn't be there, either because the delivery truck didn't show up, or it was late, or if it did show up, it hadn't dropped enough Batts and they'd be all gone by the time you got back to the dorm in the late afternoon. It hacked me off to no end whenever this happened.

Batt-Man Detail, born of necessity, was to make sure that we never missed our Batts. A fish was appointed for weekly duty as the "Batt-Man". The Batt-Man's duty was to MAKE SURE that he got a bail of Batts for Heaven's 11 sergebutts, EVERYDAY NO MATTER WHAT, come hell or high water. If they weren't delivered, or if they were late, he had to go scavenge around campus and find 'em. There was NO excuse for not delivering the Batt to Heaven's Eleven sergebutts each day. Moreover, they HAD to be delivered by 5:15 pm in order to allow time for a leisurely read before evening formation. You would know when the Batt was about to be delivered to your door-- You could hear the loud chant coming from afar down the hall, growing louder as the Batt-Man approached your room: "Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, BATT-MAAAAAAN" (reminiscent of the then-popular TV show, Batman)-- over and over, as each Batt was dropped outside each Heaven's 11 sergebutt's door.

Eddurds and I would grab our Batts and start our leisurely afternoon perusing of the latest news and sports. We were both avid Gene Stallings stalwarts. It really frosted us, BAD, when the liberal-left wing-weirdo Batt editors would run anti-Gene Stallings editorials, letters-to-the-editor, etc., which they often did. It also really P'd us off when they ran anti-Viet Nam, anti-military propaganda, which they also often did. Whenever this happened, we summoned the Batt-Man, who was instructed to go back and pick-up all the Batts he had delivered and go dump 'em in the Dumpster.

Dan (Graner) Garner